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Jokes About Ancient Chinese People
[Chinese GB][Chinese Big5]
Jokes About Ancient Chinese People

Naming a Cat

Naming a catOnce there was a man named Qi Yan who had a cat, and believing it to be rare, named it "Tiger Cat."

One of his guests said, "Brave as a tiger is, it is not so vigorous as a dragon. Why not name it Dragon Cat?"

Another one suggested, "No doubt a dragon is more vigorous than a lion, yet a dragon needs the aid of floating clouds to soar up into the sky. Aren't clouds more noble than a dragon? You'd better call it Cloud Cat."

A third reasoned, "It's true that clouds can cover the sky, but they scatter the moment the wind appears. Wind is more powerful than clouds, so name your cat Wind Cat."

A fourth argued, "However strong the wind is, it is blocked wherever there is a wall, Wall Cat would be much better."

A fifth made his suggestion: "As solid as a wall is, a mouse can make a hole in it. A wall will no longer be strong if there are holes. How can a wall be a match for a mouse? My advice is to call it Mouse Cat."

An old man in the village overheard the men arguing and laughed. "Ah! It's a cat that catches mice. A cat is a cat. Why bother naming it after something else and making it lose its own identity?"

Dongfang Shuo, A Witty Man

Dongfang Shuo, A Witty ManWhile entertaining himself in Shanglin Garden, Emperor Wu Di of the Han Dynasty pointed at a tree and asked Dongfang Shuo, "What is that called?"

"It's called Goodness." replied Dongfang Shuo carelessly. Wu Di had it written down.

Several years later, playing in the garden again, Wu Di saw the tree and turned to Dongfang Shuo to ask its name. "it's named Jusuo (Overlooking all)." said Dongfang Shuo again carelessly.

Wu Di's expression changed, "You have been cheating me over the years. How can the same tree have different names?"

Dongfang Shuo defended himself with fervour and assurance "A horse is called horse only when it grows up; it is a foal when young; chicken is the name for a chick when it becomes older; and a cow is called a calf when born. So it is with human beings: They are called infants when born and old men when aged. The tree was Goodness several years ago and is now Overlooking-All. All the objects in the universe change. Don't you think that is the truth?"

Satisfied with Dongfang Shuo's reply, Wu Di laughed heartily.

Real SkillReal Skill

There was a rich man who was deliberately hard on his farmhand. He gave him a bottle and said, "Buy me a bottle of wine."

The farmhand asked, "How can I buy you wine with no money at all?"

The rich man said, "Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money."

After a while the farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to the rich man and said, "Enjoy the wine, please."

Staring at the empty bottle, the rich man asked, "There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?"

The farmhand said, "Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine When there is none."

Choking, the rich man was unable to utter a word.

 Three Sentences Spoil a Banquet

Three Sentences Spoil a Banquet

A rich man invited four friends to a banquet to celebrate his birthday. It was already noon-time, but only Zhang, Wang and Li had come; his friend Zhao did not appear, even though they waited a long time.

The rich man said anxiously, "Why isn't the one who should have come here?"

His friend Zhang, an impetuous person, was very much upset at his words and said to the rich man, "If the one who should have come isn't present, then I am the one who should not have come. All right, good-bye." And with this, he went away in a huff.

The rich man then said, even more anxiously, "The one who should not have left has left."

These words aroused Wang's suspicion, so he said, "You said the one who should not have left has left. Does that imply that I am the one who should have left? All right, I have to say good-bye, too."

The remaining friend, Li, advised the rich man goodheartedly, "You should learn what to say and what not to say; otherwise, you will annoy your guests and send them away without your wishing it."

The rich man, hearing this, said, "Those two are too suspicious and misunderstood my words. I didn't mean them."

Now it was Li's turn to flare up. "So it is I who should not have come; it is also I who should have left." And with this, away he went.

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